she wears the sunlight as a victorious crown.

I miss you.

 

All that I wanted from you was a letter.
I wanted a list of the reasons why I’m loved and why this world,
why this world needs me, why it needs you
why it needs us.

I wanted a letter with thick black ink across the screen of white.

I wanted you to match me,
to take me as I was, in that moment, and race me to the finish line
to challenge me, to beat me, to breathe me in
like fire pit in the snow.

All that I wanted from you was life, life and a letter.

I wanted you to meet me at the place where we first met,
the place where about there years ago they cut down the tree you leaned against
and where I stuck my hand out and introduced myself.

you smiled, turned your head
and started talking to someone else.
But no I didn’t stop trying I didn’t stop caring
I never
stopped
loving you.

But you? You only loved her
Not me

So send me a letter, and tell me why.
Tell me why you stopped, why you ended, why you
just weren’t
brave
enough.

Take in my moments now, and I’ll let you type my future.
Print me back my tree and my bench and my soul and be a fire pit if you sowrite it.

All that I wanted was for you to meet me at the place where I last saw you,
in a classroom that is no longer possessed,
where books fall of the dusty shelves and the ghosts of the characters insidemoan,
for they have no hands to clutch them.
no, we are too busy writing our own stories, our own lives, our own charactersthat never crossed paths,
not even in this story
or the one after.

All I wanted from you was an answer, a prayer, a poem, a song, a gasp,
a letter saying that it’s not only my fault,
It’s God’s.
But it’s never God’s so instead tell me it was yours,
tell me it was your fathers or your brothers and I’m sure that if you had asister
you would blame it on her because you blamed it on me.
Three years ago by that tree you blamed your wild cards on me,
Me, your sister in spirit,
your twin in hair and equal in laughter

but there is no laughter now as you sit and I type
as you wait and I am left here,
all alone, missing you.

I bet you don’t even miss me, do you?

Please.
Write me a letter and tell me where.
where has this world left you in my life?

1. If I could I would nail these hands to the edges of stars. I would sacrifice this body to the sky hoping to resurrect as someone spiteful enough to not give a fuck about you.
2. Staple me to a cross. Pierce my side with a broken promise and I will bleed all the crippled reasons why you deserve one more chance.
3. Loving you was the last thing I felt really good at.
4.You wanna know how I got these scars? See I ripped every last piece of you out of my smile.
5. I whispered you stardust.
6. I spoke you into sunflowers.
7. I dipped my hands in forever. I touched you infinity. Treated you as if you were the last molecule of oxygen inside of a gas chamber. I was good to you.
8. You wanna know how I got these scars? See I swallowed my pride and then it clawed it’s way outside of my mouth.
9. I realized I was never really your boyfriend. I was just your fucking hype man.
10. I hope your next boyfriend gets smallpox.
10. Yes I said smallpox!
10. I hate you!
10. But I still miss you!
10. And a part of me still loves you!
10. It’s hard for me to count when I get emotional.
10. I heard that over 90% of human interaction is nonverbal so…
10. If I could I would tie your arms to a daydream and then auction you off to my fondest memories.

Do not let a moment go by that doesn’t remind you that your heart beats 900 times a day and that there are enough gallons of blood to make you an ocean.


Do not settle for letting these waves settle and the dust to collect in your veins.

Anis Mojgani (Shake The Dust)

(Source: wakethesongbirds)